Goals: Striving to Improve Yourself

I hear Chinese is hard to learn...

This last weekend, I had the opportunity to spend some time downstate with my girlfriend. There was a concert she really wanted to see. An artist who, although controversial at times, had greatly inspired her through her early recovery journey. It. Was. Awesome!!! But, I'd like to talk about something that happened the day after, on our way home. Today's topic is:

GOALS

Life/recovery goals can be anxiety-inducing. I remember back to the earliest days of my own recovery journey. When my therapist asked me what my recovery goal was... the blank look on my face fueled the follow-up comment, "In the program, a recovery goal is mandatory". Uh, I don't want to die? I don't want to drink anymore? I want to be able to see my son grow up? Things like this. Anyone that's been guided to set a tangible goal will identify these things as rewards for achieving goals. But goals have to be more than something you want, they have to be something you can do. *insert pic of a to-do list here*

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My starting goal became "do anything and everything the professionals in my recovery program tell me to, without question". The reality was that everything I was trying to do to "get my shit together" wasn't working. My way failed over and over again. My therapist ended up using this goal against me later when I was being stubborn... (for my own good). But I achieved that goal, and guess what? It worked!! I was able to upgrade my goal to being rigorously honest with myself and everyone around me in an effort to gain people's trust back. That worked! Okay, what's next? Become a Peer Recovery Coach. Would ya look at me now? Becoming a Notary was a similar process.

“The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher.” —Thomas Henry Huxley

So, when my girlfriend said she wanted to visit the treatment center, where she found recovery over four years ago, I was excited. It was an amazing experience getting to watch her reclaim part of her soul that needed healing four years ago. She set goals while in treatment there. One of those goals was to find a way to help people who are experiencing similar struggles that she's had to navigate. Four-ish years later, she's doing EXACTLY THAT. It's been a journey full of obstacles and anxieties. Despite those, she's persisted by achieving smaller goals, small wins adding up to her current position. It's beautiful.

After visiting that treatment center and feeling all the feels that came with it, we were leaving when we saw an unhoused man holding a sign on the street. He was looking at us, and she said, "He looks hungry.". There was half a pizza on the dashboard of my truck I got while thrift shopping roughly thirty minutes prior. That man walked away from the corner of that street with food for the day. It brought a tear of pure joy to my eye watching this woman continuously achieving that goal she had set, less than a quarter mile from that street corner.

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The reality of the situation is that she did exactly what I learned about achieving goals, especially big goals. She cut the big goal up into achievable-sized goals that added up to fulfilling the big goal. Think of a ladder; if the steps are too far apart... You can't climb it. Smaller amounts of space in between steps and the ladder becomes climbable.

My intended agenda for today got changed last minute, and growing in my faith/spirituality is a goal of mine. So, while at work early this morning, I became an ordained minister. Sometimes the only thing you can do in the moment is something small to step towards that goal you have, and that's okay. Just take the step.

Until next time.