Getting Stuck: The Art Of Seeing The Why During The What

I've been on NBC News... This isn't me though...

How do you feel when stressful things happen? Do you react emotionally, respond with discipline, or shut down? Are you able to see past the anxiety and stress of a challenging situation? It's not easy while in the eye of the storm. Today I want to talk about healing & discipline, more specifically self-awareness, and more specifically than that:

EMOTIONAL FORTITUDE

If you Google"emotional fortitude", you're going to get descriptions like this: "mental and emotional strength needed to face difficult situations or decisions with courage and resilience. It involves managing emotions, staying focused, and persevering even when facing adversity.". That's easier said than done. So I wanted to ask the questions above and then throw some examples at you.

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In early 2023, I was driving an old hoopty with electrical issues and transmission problems progressing at an astonishing rate. I NEEDED a new car. For someone in early recovery, this can be a daunting task. The day that transmission finally gave way, I signed papers on the nicest, newest car I've ever owned. A week before Christmas of 2024, I hit a deer in that car, subsequently totaling it. Two out of the three winters I had driven that car during were fairly mild. The winter of 2024-25 featured exceptionally heavy snowfall, and that little car just wasn't handling it well... despite new tires the autumn prior. I got my truck on Christmas Eve.

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." —Marcus Aurelius

During springtime this year, April 12th, 2025, I found myself nationally infamous for stepping into a silt-ridden quicksand hole on the shores of my favorite rock hunting beach. Eventually, I realized I was stuck and unable to save myself. It became a terrifying ordeal very quickly, needing emergency services to get me out of my icy beach water bear trap. I connected with the love of my life during that experience. Just recently, after this woman and I had completed an intense workout at the gym... I got stuck in a malfunctioning massage chair, giving me the opportunity to put a smile on my girl's face while exercising patience and kindness. I'll tell you the locking-the-keys-in-my-truck-at-the-laundry-mat story later... But, are you noticing a theme here?

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Now, all of these have transpired during my sober life, so I'll admit that I've been working on my self-awareness for years at this point. But that presents the opportunity to validate what you're feeling about overstimulating obstacles... staying level-headed and responding out of discipline instead of reacting emotionally is REALLY difficult. We can learn what to do and how to conduct ourselves in these situations through self-exploration, treatment programs, and therapy (like I did). But, the reality of changing our habits for the better can actually be a different process than we assume, full of trial and error. It can take time to get good at what I'm proposing; the only real way to change how we react during adverse situations is to be self-aware enough when these opportunities present themselves.

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” —Chödrön

The only way to get better at riding a bike... is to ride a bike. The only way to do something new, well, is to try it and practice. Not unlike myself, learning to play the guitar when I was young. I needed to practice. The only way I got better at playing that guitar was when my hands were on it, practicing. The same is true for dealing with stressful situations. Google ways to make a different choice when caught up in traffic, talk to your therapist about coping skills and self-awareness, and then live your life. Life has a habit of sending us anxiety-ridden obstacles where the only way around them is through them. Don't wanna be the person that flies off the handle or shuts down in those situations anymore? We gotta exercise that mind muscle...

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If you didn't notice already, all the examples I laid out had good/positive outcomes. The only one that didn't directly give me something positive came with an opportunity to exercise the disciplined response I've been talking about. The only way to begin this anxiety-fighting habit is by exercising self-awareness as much as possible. During everyday life, just step back, in your mind, and notice what's happening and how it's making you feel. The more you can do this, the more it'll start happening naturally. Like the guitar riffs I was ripping after almost 10 years of taking music lessons. I was NOT able to play the Star Spangled Banner by Jimi Hendrix on day one... Likewise, you're not going to be able to flip-flop the habits we're talking about by just learning about them. IT. TAKES. TIME & PRACTICE.

This process requires time, patience, grace, and humility... But, in the end, it's worth it.

I'll leave you with this quote from the great Kendrick Lamar: "Bitch, be humble"

Hit me up at mitchell@217recovery.com to keep the conversation going. Until next time.