Making a commitment to another person to spend the rest of your lives together is a decision you don’t just throw around. In this blog, I want to reflect on the growth of my current relationship that got me to the status of where I am now. Engaged!!!
When you are first getting sober, there is this unwritten rule that says you shouldn’t embark into any kind of relationship until after you have one year clean. I don’t know who came up with it, or where it came from— but somebody, somewhere, created this invisible guideline we, as people in recovery, are told to follow. And yeah, I get it. I get why that it has proven to be an insightful rule to follow because— in reality, the odds are not in your favor that you’ll find “the one” when really, in early sobriety, the goal is supposed to be finding yourself. And it’s hard enough even trying to do that.
Relationships are distracting. In a relationship, there is this whole other person you are supposed to be concerned with. Concerned with their needs, their emotions, their schedules, their routines... their entire lifestyle. And honestly, what are the chances that all those things are conducive, mesh, and fit into the NEW YOU??
Now this blog is me… putting my relationship status, and how I got here, all out there. Judge as you wish, but I will defend it. In my situation, I have the nerve to say that I’m “the exception to the rule”, BUT I can also say in that same breath that I had to tread lightly, my friends, in making decisions about being in a relationship when I did. And it wasn’t as fairytale as I had hoped, either. I got pushed away at first because the man I was after was hesitant about getting serious when I hadn’t yet gotten that oh-so-important 1-year coin yet. But I’ll tell you what... it was for sure God’s plan for us to be together… and in hindsight, things happened exactly how they should have.
Life was good. I knew that this time on my recovery journey, I had chosen to do it all for me and nobody else. It was my idea that changes needed to be made... for me to be happy and content again. I had to learn how to live life without the use of drugs or alcohol. I’m very good at being independent, but I’m also human; and hence, crave companionship.
If you have read my previous blogs, my experien