Guys(and gals, of course)... I would normally greet you all at this point in the blog, but I am not happy. This has been on my heart for a couple of days now. I am trying to find Joy in a situation and the only place I can find it is in voicing my opinion. So put on your seat belt, because we may have a parental advisory on today's blog.
And it starts like this: Recently, in a group of people I am acquainted with, someone was disrespected. I'll paint a picture. This someone is very sweet, kind, loving, caring, hard-working (times about a thousand), and let's all think up any of the other positive qualities you can imagine, this person has them. This person is one of the hardest-working people I, personally, know. I can't get too descriptive today, but, this person deserves to be happier than most of us out here due to an immense sense of genuine humility. And yes, I am judging the rest of you, get over it, or stop reading here. If this is what ends your viewership, you didn't have what it takes to hang here anyway. I'm not even going to mention some of the challenges this person has been handed to deal with in this life, on top of everything I just mentioned, it's more than average(by a lot). The point I am getting at is that in the 10ish months, I've known this person...They have continuously proven themselves to be a better person than myself, you, and 99% of anyone else that may run across these blogs of mine. Moving forward, in this post, I'll be abbreviating them to GP(good person).
Now. I paint that picture because I need you to understand the kind of person being disrespected in this situation, because, the offenders would generally be considered as "good people" as well, by most that know them. And in most areas of their lives, I would agree. I think what has burrs in my knickers here, besides a good person being brought down, is these two people just so happen to be the two people I, so endearingly, branded as the "back-porch-crusaders" in my last publication. So I'll admit, maybe this is personal. Maybe it's because there's a challenge in GP's life that is similar to something I have been challenged with in life(there's is still a bigger version, regardless). Maybe it's my growing sense of empathy and disposition to reckless negativity. I feel that I am intentionally and actively looking passed my own idolatry here because I feel that I have been given a deeper glimpse into what is happening here. This may actually be the reason I, personally, have been set so close to these particular individuals. You be the judge.
I will acknowledge that by this point in my typical posts, I would have you all pressed firmly passed your daily corny joke quota. I just can't leave this be. I saw a, damn good, person have the spark of genuine, and pure, excitement drained from them just a few short days ago. In a completely avoidable and immature display of ignorance. By people that, not only should but, do know better. These people are considered leaders in their communities and friend groups. This is what personally disgusts me about their selfish behavior.
"completely avoidable and immature display of ignorance"
See, there's a stigma about the community they are leaders in, and if you know what I am passionate about these days...Stigma can go F#ck itself(you were warned about language, here there be monsters). The interesting thing about the stigma here is that the sub-community these, I'll be abbreviating them the BPC's(back-porch-crusaders) moving forward, BPC's are leading in..are known for flowing against this stigma in most(if not all) areas of the respected realm of society they exist in. These two individuals, in particular, have chosen to pick up that mantle against me in the past. Which is fine. Beat me up. I can take it, especially when you try and take shots at the foundation my Heavenly Father is helping me build. When I'm using divine brick and mortar to rebuild myself...sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can go die in a hole(or however that saying goes). I'll write a vent blog and move on. But ignorantly hurt a purely-undeserving-of-your-bullsh!t person and I have to dump some observations on the situation.
It's fair to mention that both of our BPC's have had challenges in their lives as well. Everyone has been through something...And that's why I am holding them to a higher standard with this. At the moment we are talking about here, there were even excuses being made for the poor behavior being poured out by their "friends". Which I quickly pointed out as the bad examples of an excuse they were. If anyone knows my story intimately, then you'd know why excuses grind my gears harder than your average citizen with access to a platform to publish blogs from. If you'd like it spelled out for you..comment and we can have a chat in the dm's.
Oh, Mitchell, you're so heated about this...You forgot to lay out the scenario for us. You know what, you are so correct, thank you!
So here it is. GP wants to go do something fun, most likely due to some nostalgia and the fact that GP works multiple jobs AND is a single parent of multiple children. GP doesn't reach out often to ask others to do something GP would like to do because GP is typically being the best damn single parent I've ever seen while still caring for others around them in many different ways(Have I mentioned selfLESSness yet? Yeah, like all of it). GP reaches out to their friends, some you could call "best" some not as close(regardless they're all friends), to do something that GP would like to do. Something that's fun to GP. Something that they're excited about. Honestly, you could feel GP's excitement through their texts about it(it was kind of adorable and felt good to see). I personally am not GP's closest friend, but the activity GP was propositioning is something I really enjoy and have wanted to do with my own son. Now GP is going to have to parent during all of this but that's ok to them. GP wants to do something that the kids can be at, with friends, and GP found the perfect thing we could all do together. The set up to an amazing time together as friends.
"the perfect thing we could all do together"
Now, from the get-go, BPC #1 had to be negative about the situation(this doesn't really change throughout the story here). Which on the one hand was irritating to me(just don't go if you're going to be that way bro) But GP's excitement and positive responses to all BPC's objections are equally wholesome and entertaining(as in..it was nice to see them excited about something like this). Things start falling into place, a plan forms and execution of said plan falls out before all involved flawlessly. I'd like to throw in here that even though BPC #2 is attached to BPC #1's hip...BPC #2 has been a pleasant and willing participant in the plans GP, and others of us now, have been a part of..thus far.
We are now at said exciting/fun event. The complaining doesn't start immediately. GP has to their super parenting as usual(and is crushing it as usual). And then the complaining starts. You may be thinking here..Mitchell, they're children, that's what they do sometimes.. No, no. The kids were content being kids, needing the attention of your average kids at a fun event. The complaining is coming from the BPC's. Yes both of them. I will say one more than the other but they're not getting any credit for that. It was out of line passed the initial comments. It proceeds to the point that the BPC's complaining starts to influence GP's actual bestest best friend and now they don't want to be there either. You can now start to feel that excitement and feeling of fun slowly draining from GP. I honestly felt "It's ok, this is how this event is supposed to be. It's part of the fun and memories". I know that feeling was shared by more than just myself.
The complaints being recklessly thrown across people's positive feelings like gasoline being dumped out on a pile of pallets in your backwoods cousin Cletus's backyard were comparable to being at the beach and complaining there's sand..the water's wet..the sun's out or that a duck just swam by. It was petty and sad. GP's once glowing happiness to be out with friends was draining faster and faster. The next thing you know we are moving things out of the way, in the middle of the events entertainment I'd like to add because the BPC's just can't handle the agony of being in the midst of the horrible conditions they were being asked to endure...the same conditions that the rest of us knew were going to be there and paid to be a part of because it all adds to the fun. The scene has been made, you did it BPC's, and you're finally free. Taking GP's bestest friend with them.
"comparable to being at the beach and complaining there's sand"
Meanwhile, GP is almost completely depleted of all positive feelings about the situation(you can see and feel it). The excuses mentioned before are being made, the disappointment in these self-proclaimed good people and best friends of our story's GP is rising in my energy field and all I can feel in that moment is no. No. No, I will not allow this to become a complete disappointment for GP and their kids. I was having fun with these people until the toxicity showed up and I'm not willing to sacrifice the positive because a few leaders, that people unfortunately look up to, can't be gentle with their own "best friend's" feelings. So one of our remaining friends and I grab our chairs and go to where GP has retreated to and we finish the first part of the event's entertainment and make it as fun as possible in the process. And no, not in some charity attempt or because we're trying to make up for anyone's poor behavior..but because we(much like GP themselves) came there to have fun with friends, and damn it we can still do that with a few small discomforts we knew where going to be a part of the event to begin with.
I really hope you can understand why my ass is chapped about this. I'll recap, a truly humble and good person was wronged by some people I should be able to describe as the same. I'd like to ask one question that I know I'll never get an honest answer to..would it have killed you to sit through the event until at least the first feature was through if it meant preserving the feelings of someone you claim to be a close friend?? Seeing as how it went down..I'd say it might have..they sure acted like it may.
I really don't have anything else to say about this. It's unacceptable and honestly exactly what people expect from a toxic religious environment...whoops, I've said too much..
If you've made it this far, please make better choices people. Everyone's feelings matter. Period. I know we can do better as a collective.
Don't be a back-porch crusader.
Bye.