I have probably had the most mentally extraneous weeks that I can ever remember, but things seem different this time around. For one, and most importantly I'm still sober! If I was not there is no way that a fraction of what needed to get done would have. (Or and more likely the projects would all be between 25 and 40 percent done and probably some more unneeded projects started as well). Most of what needed to be done was just simple mindless tasks to a point, but there were some big ones in there too. The point I'm trying to get at is that I never would have gotten to this spot in my life, where I am gracious to have such problems, if it didn't start somewhere. The little things add up, sometimes they become big things, needless to say these tasks can become a burden upon us. They can create anxiety, stress, fear, anger, hurt, and despair. Most of all they can lead us into a horrible choice: a relapse, a lapse in judgement, or the ego to take control once again. On the other side of things these little things can become huge steppingstones in getting our lives back together.
A simple idea that worked for me to overcome the ginormous responsibilities we have to attend to as soon as you leave jail or treatment and I encourage you to give it a try...
While I was in treatment, I started writing list of all the things I wanted to accomplish or do... of course at first it was huge unrealistic goals like moving back home, repair all the relationships I ruined, get my license, etc. (Don't get me wrong these all were good goals at the time, but again unrealistic), when none of these things happened overnight or instantly, I obviously got upset. This is where I realized maybe I should start a little smaller goal: go to college, show up for my kids when I say I will, write letters to family members too difficult to talk on phone (little more achievable, need some work done to get there but doable). Again, though everything just seemed out of reach, or I'd finally get to cross one thing off and 10 more would add. That amazing feeling of crossing off something from my list was short lived by the number of others being added. But DAMN did it feel good to cross that one thing off.
"The only failure is not trying"-Robin S. Sharma
DING, DING, DING....I got it! Me, being the instant gratification fiend that I am (guessing some of you can relate), I'll find a way to cross off something every day!
And that my friends is what I did! Started with some simple stupid stuff like do my laundry, take out the recycling, eat something...then it progressed to call doctor, make appointments, go to library, etc... you get it. What I'm trying to get at is by starting with those small things and crossing them off, I began to see some progress toward those big goals that I first wrote down as a foolish, naive, I'm sober now I'm going to change the world attitude having recovery newbie. This was huge because I wasn't necessarily trying to work on those.
Moral of the story is that yes, it's great to have big, long-term goals, I'm not telling you not to dream, but also be realistic. Maybe start a in 2 years I'll be....list, and then maybe break that down into within the next year, but most importantly give yourself some small easy tasks, start from there and see how well it feels to accomplish what you set out to do, build from there, maybe one day who knows what you can cross off your list. Keep your dreams alive and take everything in stride, things don't happen in this world by mistake. Until next time...