Not everyone hates you

Is something my best friend tells me all the time. She thinks the opposite actually, but I sometimes put it in my head that everyone is out to get me. I don’t know if this is just a character flaw or if it’s leftover from my old addict behavior. Maybe it’s me who needs to be more approachable, then maybe I’d get a feel of what’s really going on. I can actually trace this back to when I looked down upon myself, like I didn’t deserve anything or anyone good in my life. Today my feelings about my life and who I really am are different. That doesn’t stop the examination of others that come into my life. I look at it like this now, either we’re going after a common goal of living the most productive life we can, or I don’t really have anything to talk with you about. Does that make me selfish? It might, but it’s what I need keep on my path of sober life.

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