Apparently, I was wrong to assume "Fantasy Football" included wizards, fairies, and unicorns. In all seriousness, I got roped into the fantasy football world because "everyone is doing it" and "you'll feel left out". With complete transparency, it's really not something that I enjoy, at all. Football, and sports in general, is something that goes back to something I "had" to be interested in when I was younger—those days of searching for validation and acceptance from my father. If you've followed my publications you'll know that the daddy issues box is something that I've had to dig through in the shadow work process.
That being said, not being interested in the office fantasy football pool sets me apart here. I'll admit that the playful complaints about having to participate are, kind of, starting to make it fun. But there's something here deeper that I'm starting to learn to love and identify with.
It started when I was a kid, and that's too long of a story to really delve into today. But, from being the "black sheep" of my family, to having interests noticeably different than your average man, being the guy with the "boring pee" in the IOP I went through to find recovery, and even now being in recovery I'm the only person working here in the office who didn't use an inpatient treatment program to find that recovery life. I get this feedback in the dating world too(we are not going there, in here, today). All of this is adding up to something.
"My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit." -Dana Gould
I'm different. And yeah, I know, we're all different in our own ways—yada yada. But from day one, there's always been something different about me. When I didn't understand what it was it caused tension. People that didn't understand it didn't always like it and that's caused issues in the past. Especially when I didn't understand it myself and let it control my reactions.
But there's something that's been made absolutely clear to me, through my recovery journey. It came with what unraveled after really believing in steps 2 & 3 (reference a 12-step program) and the spiritual journey that ensued after that epiphany. This "difference", being an "outlier" has always been there for a reason. I've been trained (by my Higher Power) to really embody the "multiple pathways" outlook on recovery. This realization is something that I can finally see everywhere around me. They've been preparing me for this my entire life and damn it, understanding that makes this story arch of my life feel genuinely good for the first time. The energy released out of that part of my shadow has felt like losing 100lbs overnight... and I know what that feels like. I get to live in this purpose today and there's a comfort that comes with it.
Never stop believing in the positive and PLEASE start looking for the possibility that every "negative" thing that's happened to you might just be a building block to something amazing coming around the bend.
P.S. Next time you see Justin ask him about the Roku remote...
