Over the last year, I have lost a lot of things. From family to even a divorce. So now I sit with a heavy heart. I am starting to question my higher power. How much bullshit can a person go through before you break? By break, I mean mentally. As I keep going I tell myself it will get better. I haven't picked up a drink or drug. That gives me strength. Cause the old me would run and never face these things alone. I have caught myself wanting to isolate. But I do have good friends that see these traits and pull me back into reality. All though I feel in shambles I keep pushing forward. I know nothing is permanent. As far as feelings are concerned. I am looking for a therapist. That much I do know. They help with so much.
I feel like I have nothing more to give. This is my awareness kicking in. Telling me to change what I am doing about my feelings. I need to talk more about the things I go through. Grief is hard. But I keep my faith that something better is on its way. Cause there is always light at the end of the tunnel. So I just keep praying that life will get easier. One day at a time. Maybe I need to get a sponsor and start working the steps again. Step work is a great way to get to come to peace with life. It has been like two years since I worked any steps. So when the going gets hard. Turn back to the basics that got you to where you were happy.