When looking back over the years of my life. I realized that I never changed anything that would help me. I ended up in jail a few times for different things. But when I got out I always repeated the same old steps. This last time when I was in jail I was still trying to still live the same old life. Until my probation officer came to see me just before my release and said I needed to change everything. He would not release me to go home to my moms or brothers.
It was then I asked for help. That was huge for me I never asked for help. By help I mean treatment. It was my first time going to treatment. I didn't know what to expect. I was nervous about this change that had to take place. That meant digging deep within myself. There I found that change is good and can be scary. I didn't know how to live without using drugs to numb my feelings.
So after treatment, I went to sober living to keep the change going forward to a better life. I went to see a therapist every week. That was the biggest change in my life was talking about my little feelings. With this happening, I was able to get over a lot of things that kept me relapsing. It was hard but well worth the tears I had shed.
Another thing I had to change was everyone I hung out with. I moved to a new area. I made friends with people who were in recovery. That gave me hope that life was possible without using. They were having fun and laughing while being sober. I learned to live life in a new way and it is all because my probation officer made me change the way I was living.
Later,