My last few publications have been on topics like taking action, the unexpected, boundaries, and how they affect or fit into dealing with being overwhelmed and stressed. Related to those topics, today I'm going to talk about a pivotal point in my early recovery and wellness journey in general. What I'm referring to is when I learned my first healthy:
COPING SKILLS
I had been self-medicating severe depression and anxiety for my entire adult life. When I made the choice to remove my self-proclaimed "medicine" (alcohol) all the excess mental health issues I was suppressing came rushing in full force like a broken dam. I had completely ignored my mental health in every way and had no idea what to do about this extra despair I was now experiencing. It led me to a place of suicidal ideation and something HAD to be done if I was going to make it out alive.
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Thank my Higher Power Himself that I had an amazing therapist in the outpatient program I used to find recovery. Very early in the process, she led me through what coping skills are, how to find out what works for me (It can be different for all of us), and how to take action on what healthy coping skills I chose. She asked me if there was anything I could think of, the first thing that came to mind, that calmed me down or lifted me up when the overwhelming depression or anxiety kicked in. Within a second I already knew.
"What you got? I got the skills to pay the bills" —Beastie Boys
Music. Ever since I was a teenager I had used music in the exact way she was telling me coping skills worked. When I'm down, listening to something faster-paced and uplifting (Indy rock) is incredible at pulling me out of the depressive lows. When I'm angry or in a heightened anxiety state, something heavy (Metal or hard rock) helps organize my thoughts and calms me down. Surprise, Surprise, as an adult it still works! I hadn't listened to music like this for years. I replaced every healthy coping mechanism I've ever had with alcohol.
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The plan was, no matter what situation I was in when that anxious tornado brain set in, I was to excuse myself (at the first opportune moment) for 10 minutes. Once I was in a safe place less stimulating, visually or audibly, I popped in my earbuds, flipped on that fire new I Prevail song, and crank the volume up effectively melting away all that overwhelming stimulation. This worked like a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser for the challenging part of my mental health. Some others that worked for me were boundaries and not being around stressful places or people. Telling people, I have to be around, that stressful negative subject they just won't stop talking about isn't a conversation I can be a part of. Boundaries and putting our mental wellness first are critical to this process.
As I said before, this process has a different flavor for everyone. Maybe creating art is what calms your nerves. Maybe reading is the magic chill pill that works for you. As long as it's healthy, not hurting you or others, and calms whatever emotional dip or overstimulation you're experiencing... give it a shot. It may take some time to find what works for you, but trust me, it's worth it.
Until next time.
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