Updated: Jul 26
Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there.. I'll tell you how I became..known as the guy that shits in the woods..
Well, disc golf course more specifically. This is more the story of why my boss's wife can no longer look me in the eye, and half the reason our organization has a human resources department now. Ok, after that statement, I can see how you'd need some clarification. And I'm also going to include the legal ramifications of having certain kinds of "accidents".. I was going to start this blog with something like "names have been changed for legal reasons" or a play on "do bears shit in the woods". But this is what I got, I hope you enjoy it.
One fine afternoon, the hero of this story, went disc golfing with his very good friend at a very popular course. The day was going well, birds were chirping, discs were being tossed, fun was being had, you couldn't really ask for much more on a beautiful summer afternoon. Until it happens..that sinking feeling wells up in the hero's stomach accompanied by that gurgle..you know the gurgle.. the one that's telling you: you need to find a place to "go"..and NOW. So, the person this story is about(me), knew how this was going to play out. Planning engages, the wheels of the mind start turning to find out how this tacobell breakfast moving through the plumbing can be dealt with. Path of least resistance type of a situation. A plan formed, failed terribly, and some things happen in the woods nearby that you just don't want to have to write a blog about..
But, the hero of the story, walks away from the situation scott free(due to the roll of scott toilet paper in the trunk of his car). Or so he thinks... Who knew someone(I didn't see anywhere) would report this poor soul, that just didn't want to have to throw away a perfectly good pair of gym shorts, to the authorities for "possible indecent exposure"(or however they put it). Which, very high-level sleuth like, hunted the hero down to his workplace, days later, to issue a warning to be more careful in the future. This is where the boss's wife comes in. As the rest of the crew was out of the office on very important professional business. She was the only person left in the office to talk to said authorities issuing the warning.. The workplace awkwardness unfolds from there.
A few things I'd like this story, that's completely made up(not at all really), to portray is that:
1.) Accidents happen. Even when you're trying your best to walk the straight and narrow. Or, just a disc golf course..
2.) Don't be around when the cops show up(with minimal evidence I'd like to add) and you might get out with just a bit of office space awkwardness.
3.) Don't forget to schedule your colonoscopy.
With that, I'd like to tell everyone to have a great week and keep that spare roll of TP in your trunk. Could save the day when you least expect it.