So, it's no secret that I've been making leaps and bounds with living my life, in recovery, out loud. Something that I've just recently gone public with is that I am a single man, looking for a relationship. I've never dated in recovery before, and just like all my other recovery "firsts"(getting a car, getting a job, life after IOP's, finding a counselor, etc), dating while in recovery terrifies me. I feel like a whole new person, than when I dated last, and don't even know where to start the conversation.
Now, I was in a dumpster fire of a relationship when I started my recovery journey, but that inevitably ended and I spent the last year+ really trying to heal and become a person that would be healthy in a relationship(in all actuality, life in general). This seemed like a good place to start for me. Step 1, make myself a safe place for myself. Step 2, make myself a safe place for another person. Step 3, uhh...what goes here? That's where I was standing. I have no idea what to do next. But I did come to the conclusion that where I was in my journey through spirituality, mindfulness, and healing...I was going to take the step into meeting people.
"So..Umm..the tinder date went well" -New Parent
What does that look like you might ask? Well, instead of digging through the little black book of repeated dating practice cycles, I decided to just be open and let the Universe decide what to do. Turns out, that the Universe expects effort on your part, past the healing I mentioned earlier. So, stepping in a direction from the past, I decided that maybe a dating site might be a good way to meet people, and they definitely know why you're there, so there's that part taken care of already. Now, which one do I use? After the paranormal date dot com experience, or something weird like that, didn't pan out..I decided to give Tinder a shot. I figure it's one I've never used so let's see what kind of trouble I can get into there.
But what did I just do? You guessed it. I jumped on something that was familiar to me from my past, a repeated cycle even. "Ugh, Mitchell...We told ourselves we weren't going to do that again!!". One thing I am acutely aware of is that repeating cycles isn't going to affect my recovery, or anything attached to it(everything), in a positive way. Now if I could just start being aware of things like this BEFORE I put my decisions into action...I think I'd be getting somewhere in that whole healing first situation I started this publication off with.
Plus, 90% of the women on that site list some sort of drug or alcohol use right on their profiles...Not something I really want/need in my life right now(or ever). On the other hand, it does really help to -weed- out the ones I'm not looking for. Heh heh...see what I did there??
I'll catch you on the next episode of this live autobiography.