The beginning of this year has been rife with opportunities. On the flip side of that coin, there's also been a healthy dosage of challenges. Which, with the right mindset presents another opportunity...Reflection.
During the last year I've been digging around the blurry memories of my time in active addiction (shadow work) and reflecting on those moments, from over three years ago, has been a prominent outcome of this. Times like falling over drunk and breaking the chair in my room, falling over drunk and breaking my light switch(see a theme here?), the disappointment on my loved one's faces after promising I would never drink again, or that first step out of the door on my way to treatment. None of these felt good at the moment they played out, how could revisiting them now do me any good?
“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” – Margaret J. Wheatley
Artifacts of these moments have surfaced while making positive changes in my life recently. At first, I started falling into that old mindset. I didn't want to see that broken plastic piece of my light switch that fell behind my bookshelf. I've moved on, right? That's just there to drag me back into those old memories, and those memories hurt. I didn't want that. This is the moment that all the experiences and lessons I've learned in my recovery journey came together and a light bulb went off in my head.
I got these reminders, not to drag me back into stale negativity, but to reflect and spring me forward into ambition for the future. The reality is that my life has been full of blessings lately. Not that I haven't been presented with the ever-daunting "sober people problems". But I get to look back on those pre-recovery suffering points to be joyful and happy that my life never, EVER, has to be like that again. That has given me so much gratitude while kicking this year off. It's been a good starting line.
Until next time.