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Writer's pictureMitchell O'Brien

Not Again... No Really, Not Again

Updated: Nov 20




I typically like to blog about the thing that's forefront in my mind that is either happening to me...or I'm currently trying to work on, in my life. But, since I have written, at nauseum it feels like, about stress, overwhelm, overstimulation, and the risk of relapse these things create, I'm going to touch on the solid number two on my current affairs list: Communication.


Communication is something that I crave deeply. Mostly due to the lack thereof in my young life into mid-adulthood. Clear communication wasn't something that's been a consistent placeholder in my life, pretty much ever. Until that is, I found a life in recovery. Almost four years ago as I engaged with my therapist in the outpatient program where I found sobriety, I gained self-awareness. This self-awareness brought realizations of attributes and character traits that I had left undeveloped during my years of alcoholism and immaturity. Communication being one of these attributes.



Now, with this realization I found that I wasn't just lacking good communication skills myself, I was craving it from the people around me (Cue the childhood trauma bell here). I also now knew that I can't control how other people act, including how they choose to communicate. But I did know that I have complete control over how I myself communicate, who I choose to keep around me, and that I CAN choose to be a good example of good communication and all the other ways I'd like people to treat me (I'm not saying I'm there yet...it's a work in progress). Somewhere along the line here I dropped the ball.


"Things left unsaid stay with us forever" —Unknown

Things happen in our lives and we can lose the self-awareness we need to keep progressing in areas of our lives we need to develop, the important thing is to remember that as soon as that self-awareness returns you can get right back on that self-improvement bandwagon. It's never too late to start or keep trying to be a better person.


I say all this because recently I had left some things unsaid, so did someone else but we already covered that we can really only keep our own lawn clean. With these unsaid words (unused communication) hurt feelings became the result. That creates a messy heart that needs to be cleaned up, because if you don't....you guessed it, we can let those feelings fester and this leads us right into the hands of relapse. Don't do that to yourself.



I'm leaving with this: Communicate your feelings, but be respectful, and don't hold on to negativity. Forgive others that don't communicate well with you and forgive yourself if you screw up. There's always another chance to do better.


Until next time.


P.S. Next time you hug someone you love, ask yourself if this was your last hug with them...would it have been long enough?





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