Surrendering

It’s amazing how selfish and self centered we could be when we were out using.

Before recovery, many of us acted in destructive, demoralizing, and often illegal ways, regularly hurting ourselves and others in the process. Rather than being remorseful when confronted with our behaviors, we usually became resentful and acted even more inappropriately. In the end of our using, many of us were alone, and the only people who were glad to see us were the people who welcomed us into recovery.

At first, it's hard to confront the damage we've done, but after a while many of us do recover and gain self-respect we had lost. What also returns, though, is our ego, and sometimes a new sense of entitlement can make us hard to be around again. I have sat rolled my eyes and judged in meetings while people shared how they thought things should be done, all while thinking I know a better way. When I catch myself feeling better then you, I have remind myself of where I came from. When I do, I'm humbled by the miracle that has taken place in my life, and once again I become right-sized. I am instantly reminded that we didn't get here just because we stopped drinking. I had to surrender the lifestyle as well.

Bill W's says, "Honesty with ourselves and others gets us sober, but it is tolerance that keeps us that way."