I am three years into my recovery journey now, and some important parts of the stage I'm in currently have been shadow work, reflection, and accepting the things I can't change about my past. Things I did that I can't change, and things done to me that I can't change. I heard recently a saying "The past is gone, the future doesn't exist, and all we truly possess is the present moment". This came with an explanation that deep healing happens when we release the emotional anchors we've placed in the past and stop grasping at anxieties of things that haven't even happened yet (And may not even happen altogether). Giving us the ability to focus on the important things we currently have set in front of us.
This has been an amazing part of my recovery and all-around growth in general. But, I was talking with a group of people much earlier in their recovery journeys recently and it made me realize that the work I'm doing right now, wasn't something I would've been capable of earlier in my own walk through recovery. I say "Everything happens for a purpose" and "Be patient with your Higher Power's timing" a lot, and I believe these things. Everything happens when it's supposed to happen for a reason and this is a core belief I structure not only my recovery process on, but also my entire life in general.
“If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!” -Pink Floyd
The reality of what I'm sharing here is that I didn't have the emotional fortitude to dig into the resentments that I've held for myself and others from the past before the point I am currently in my healing process. People can only take so much at any given moment, and a large part of what I've learned these last three years is that I have to be self-aware of the pace I'm moving at. Mentally, spiritually, relationally, even physically. Workload and personal responsibility play directly into that as well. One of the biggest things I've personally done to help me keep my plate of focus manageable has been learning how to have healthy boundaries with people, places, and things.
If you're currently striving for growth and breakthrough but you're not getting the desired outcome, consider slowing your pace and re-evaluating your situation. Have you taken on too much? Are you pushing too hard, too fast? Are you getting enough rest to sustain the pace and goals you're trying to attain? Are all your habits beneficial to obtaining the goals you've set for yourself? Are your goals set up in achievable increments? These are things I've had to stop and ponder in my life over the last few years. Slow down, take a deep breath, look around, get a good night's sleep (or try your best), and then start that evaluation and maybe even the restructuring process. The true goal is to be healthy, set healthy goals, and healthy boundaries moving forward. These things have helped me.
Until next time.