I don’t, I can’t, I won’t, are all things I used to say quite often. You see, in active addiction it was all about what I wanted and with my brain being corrupted by alcohol, it told me that was the most important thing in my life. It took a few years for me to put this (two years next month) stretch of clean time together. It wasn’t easy but I pushed on and kept seeking a better life without alcohol. I had to learn to understand it’s not up to me and what I want, but instead I started looking for what I need. Learning how our minds work when substance use disorder takes over did help me realize I wasn’t a bad person and that I suffered from a disease. If you really want you to find the joy in life I’ve found and I urge you to seek what you need and give up looking for things you think you want. It takes brain power and will to fight our substance disorder brain, so buckle in and don’t give up!! Tell yourself, “This is for me”!