As the road ahead appears to me, in my head, it's more of a hill. A huge hill, so big I can't see over it. I can't tell what's on the other side, and that can be hard sometimes. I feel the need to know where this road is heading, and that's when I start to feel uneasy. I could just say eff it and turn around and go back to the place I know, but that place doesn't feel right for me anymore. It's uncomfortable and full of pain, bad memories, and death. Yet, If I really must know where this road leads, here is an option. I strive every day so I don't have to go back to that painful place at the bottom of the hill. I must take the time each day to thank God and be glad he's in the car with me on this trip, reminding myself that not knowing what's ahead is normal and natural. By stopping along the way and filling up with gas, buying new tires, and getting the oil changed, I can be assured that I won't stall out or crash on the way up. Those are the things I can control, doing things that may seem meaningless each day are huge because if I'm not doing them it's a certain set up for a major breakdown. So, I keep telling myself to enjoy the view and to enjoy the moments I have with the people in the car with me. This helps me feel grateful to be on this earth and to be living this one life that I have. I don't think I'll ever know what's on the other side of the hill, I have huge goals and so far my dreams of the future aren't stopping. I'll keep on and with the help of God, I'll be ok!
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