Cleaning house can be therapeutic in so many ways; for example, tonight I was shampooing our carpet and recently have been working in our yard. It’s crazy how doing something physically productive can make you feel so accomplished. Unloading all the dirt, grime, and clutter out of your head can be physically exhausting at times; emotionally draining at best. However the deep breath you finally are able to take after a good, hard, ugly cry (we all know the one) it’s almost like taking that gorilla off your chest that has over stayed his welcome by years, even decades. (Yeah, we go big or go homeless; especially in addiction. And your monkey, my gorilla; either way, that primate needs to go!) Whatever you identify your unneeded crap, it is all the same. Unlearning all the abnormalities that have become our “normal”, you know, that storm cloud of shit that provides you, me, and anyone stuck in the oh so comfortable chaos. Do it; because what did we learn in previous blogs? It’s not easy, but I promise you, if you truly let go of every hurt, grudge, expectation, and resentment. Respect the devilish hold addiction has/had and is awaiting to firmly pull you back into the ring of fire, know without batting an eye one is too many, a thousand is never enough. And change the people you surround yourself with. The freedom that comes with those gallons of blood, sweat, and tears holds no earthly measure. Just like your worth, mine, and every other broken body that doesn’t believe they serve a purpose. One more thing, don’t think for a minute you should be ashamed because your struggles turned into a drug or alcohol addiction; every single human has at least one struggle if not many. It’s making the choice to reach out and let them know they are not alone instead of throwing shame; holding the door for that gentleman who chooses to keep walking with a scowl on his face. Or going through the drive thru at Wendy’s, and paying for the family of 5’s dinner without expectation of a thank you. Spring has sprung, I suggest the cleaning begin and this time never quit. Striving to better oneself is progress, not always perfection. In fact there is no such thing, except for JC; but I’m not here to tell you that you have to believe my beliefs either.
1.) A cleansing, exhausting, weight lifting cry
2.) Being told how strong you are for finally allowing those tears to happen, and happen, and happen...
3.) You, the one reading this as we speak
4.) The Mediterranean pizza I had for dinner tonight 🤤🤤
5.) Corey, you’ve pushed me so far with my change for the better; more than you’ll ever know
6.) The weather changing, I am not a fan of being cold
7.) Unconditional love
8.) Elise Corinne, that sweet little girl who will know she is, was, and will always be enough
9.) My wife, I yike her...a yot!
10.) Me, Anna; no this isn’t out of vanity or narcissism. It’s because I never acknowledge how far I’ve truly come
Yesterday marked 16 months sober and I didn’t even realize it until a client getting ready for her next chapter congratulated me from a book I lent her. She said, “This is your sobriety date right? January 19th?” I smiled, and thanked her, it’s the little things that cost absolutely nothing, that can warm the heart like no other. Have a blessed night ❤️