Remaining calm and continuing everyday life with a pandemic crisis is becoming, well, everyday life. I’ve recently taken on a new role at my work and it is a lot more one on one interaction, ideally keeping a 6ft radius from human contact in my field is pretty much impossible, along with learning all that my new position entails. Emotionally I feel I am equipped for this job, I hear tragic stories filled with devastation and traumatic events, plagued with guilt and shame and this is hard don’t get me wrong but manageable. Tonight as I was preparing my belongings and awaiting my wife a coworker and I had one of those talks. He shared some things with me that chilled the marrow in my bones and brought emotions to the surface in me that I have been able to “ethically” keep at bay for a bit now. This was a broken man sharing with a broken woman what initially cracked the surface of his initial dance with the devil and almost turned an independent man of stature to a desecration of ash, almost. I didn’t shed my emotions because it made me think of my life, these were purely empathetic tears from an overwhelming sensation and heaviness I cannot explain except for saying I absorbed from him to ease his pain. He needed this moment as did I, in fact, if I’m being honest I may have needed it more. Now don’t misunderstand when I called us bother broken, because broken crayons still color beautiful portraits; by sharing these moments we melt our broken pieces into the cracks and crevices of our brothers and sisters. We weave our once tangled and splintered vines into beautiful pieces of armor to wrap the next chosen survivor weakened almost to death and nurture them into the warrior always intended. The one who makes that choice to persevere, break chains, and who decides to wear their battle scars with pride.
2.) Knowing you are not alone
3.) Selfless acts of kindness
4.) A story shared from someone who trusts no one because they just know, you are that one they can
6.) My daughter’s laugh
7.) Unconditional love
8.) My wife and all that she is, does, and stubbornly stands for
9.) My coworker and friend, the moment we shared.
10.) Elise Corinne, from head to toe, her smile, her songs, dance, yoga, and never ending hops
Being in recovery does not define me or keep me sober. Bonding with good people, understanding and feeling each others hurts, happiness, and all that encompasses. That’s where the magic happens.