I planned on starting this post exclaiming that Great Expectations was a great movie. Then, as I let the flashback of that movie play in my head, I realized I could probably bring that up to my therapist and we could examine some of my past relationships in a new light... anyway.
Expectations. I've had a few conversations with people lately about how our will and ego have been our downfall in a lot of situations and I've noticed that I always bring up expectations when I'm on that topic. Growing up, I always just thought ego and confidence (or cockiness) were the same and as far as understanding what my will was, I'm not sure I ever even thought about it. I think for that reason, my ears always seem to perk up when people bring up the subject. Simply said, if I was ever going to stop drinking, part of the process had to be realizing that I don't know everything. I wanted to do the things I wanted to do (my will) because I had a good reason for each one. If someone suggested a better way, sometimes even with evidence to back up their claim, I would still follow my plan because I had thought it through and I had probably convinced myself it was the only way (my ego). Well, after a while, it was painfully obvious that my ways weren't working for anyone, mainly myself.
That's where expectations come into play for me. I've learned that what used to get me in trouble and still can these days, were my expectations. I've always considered myself fairly smart, objective, and fair, so I assumed the way I expected things to turn out were probably pretty accurate. The problem with that is... I don't know everything. Things didn't always go the way I thought they would because I can't possibly have all the information on every subject. I'm human. I'm going to make mistakes. But because of my ego, every time my expectations of myself or others didn't go as planned, I'd let it mess up my whole world and today, it can strain relationships.
Now I have enough experience with letting go of my will and ego when it doesn't serve me, to see that doing so allows for the information I didn't have to come to me through a natural process. All I have to do to learn in that situation is to observe without the need to force my will into the situation.