Updated: Apr 28, 2020
Being satisfied with where you are, what you’re doing, and what you have is rare these days it seems. I was not content for a vast period of my life, drinking or abstaining, there was always something else I wanted or thought I needed until I realized I was trying to fill a void I was unaware even existed. I am a firm believer that addiction and other disorders directly stem from unresolved trauma. I personally feel, for me, emotional and spiritual trauma have cut deeper; leaving debilitating scars that unaddressed, made me permeable to anyone and anything to prey on my weaknesses and sadness.
For years I was walking around trying to fill these holes with anything that brought instant gratification, yet never satisfied me lo by term or filled my love tank.
And I. The depths of my alcoholism, I was pouring as much vodka into my body trying to feel full and complete, but it drained out of me just as rapidly with all my internal wounds like a sieve.
Never being happy or satisfied, for me, came from never healing old wounds, and resulted in bleeding on those who came into my life, which IS NOT fair to them, but it left me hurting the most.
Today I try to focus on all the wonderful people and things I’m blessed with and where I was a year ago. I stopped putting bandaids on bullet holes and dug deep, doing the hard part of getting sober and dealt with the crap in my head and my heart. Slowly but surely treating each eternal wound and patiently granting myself proper time to heal.
Not seeking the attention of a person and hurting them, myself, or both; waited until I was whole, to find a whole and be a happy healthy united pair to conquer anything life has and will throw at us in the future. I’m not just happy, today I am content and some.
6.) Making love to your soulmate
7.) Unconditional love
8.) Elise Corinne 💗💗
9.) Jamie, my wife who loves to spoil me 🥰😘
I have my moments where I think I need more, more, more; then am quickly reminded of all this year has brought me. Hard work, blind faith, and helping others has lead me on the path God has always intended for me to travel.